i know i dont matter anymore.
and i know that you dont love me.
and i know your sick of hearing it.
but heres the day you hoped would never come.
the day where i have no more interest in living.
the day where being dead doesnt bother me.
somewhere someone will read this and they will be worried.
and yes i proberly have something wrong with me but i cant worry about it.
theres so much going on.
i should be greatfull.
i am greatfull.
im going to america next monday.
thats come around a whole lot fast.
the papercuts the cheating lovers the coffees never strong enough.
bye bye baby its just text book stuff.
its in the a.b.c of growing up
now now darling now dont kill yourself
cos none of us were angels
and you know i love you, yeah?
im sick of this, i really am.
if im not occupying myself then im crying.
this morning i was woken after i had another dream about him, i woke in tears and went for a walk around my bestmates suburb. i had no idea what i was doing. i was in my pj's i have no control over where i cry and where i dont.
im so scared to see him on tuesday.
ive learnt to admit my mistakes.